i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
