Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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