She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
