discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
