i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
