im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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