Don't make out with my wife yet
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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