walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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