Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
