my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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