This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
