We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
