my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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