I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
