Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
