yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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