I must be too annoying 4 u.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
