I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
