They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
