Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
