forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
