Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
