i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
