in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
