After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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