No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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