She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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