Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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