At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
