remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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