just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
