i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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