..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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