We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
