yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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