It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
