YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
