we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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