can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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