im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love having hate sex.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
