Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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