I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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