i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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