Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
