just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
