so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
