Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
