I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
