HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
