i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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