You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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