i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So apparently I’m into choking now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
